I went to the cinema today. I know I wasn’t supposed to. I just needed to escape to a different world. To take a break on my day off not just from work, but from the current global situation. I’m sure many of the readers will understand.

It was especially bad that I had gone to the movies given my current job. I’d like to apologise in advance to the whole world for my irresponsible risk-taking behaviour. You see, despite all my latest posts being about Senegal, I am actually currently in Sydney, Australia. I am working in the Public Health Emergency Operations Centre of New South Wales Health, the state health body of the most populous state of the country. For obvious reasons, my workplace is otherwise known to all as the “COVID Bunker”. I am one of the medical officers there. Life is hectic. But the team is incredible. Everyone is working overtime to get things done. Unfortunately, it’s not a job where many tasks can be left until the next day. I feel guilty most evenings that apparently, I have greater sleep requirements than many of my colleagues. As I leave for the day, many of them are still stuck elbow-deep in contact tracing tasks. The long hours is only the physically exhausting part. It is also emotionally exhausting with so much anxiety around everything that we do. And mentally exhausting trying to keep up with rapidly changing medical information and guidelines.

I had a rare day off today. I felt lost. I had been completely immersed in the work environment that it was disorienting not to be there. It was strange to see other people go about their daily lives, albeit with a general heightened sense of panic. I must admit that I haven’t been dealing with these worried vibes very well when I’ve been out in the public. I’m too much of a sponge in that sense. And so in general, I’ve been extremely jittery whenever I am in public spaces. I feel like I a perpetually on the edge of a panic attack. It’s actually a bit of a relief when I’m at work and I can channel this nervous energy into real pandemic-controlling action. Going to the movies felt a bit like checking myself into a treatment institution, where I could just forget for a while.

The concern with me going to the movies, obviously, is that if I were to catch the virus and test positive, then possibly 30% of the people in the bunker will be considered a close contact, and will have to go into home quarantine for 2 weeks. This is potentially going to include some of the more senior people, like my wonderfully patient and caring bosses. Of course, I sat far away from the other moviegoers. The two other brave moviegoers. But still, it was an irresponsible thing to do, and I feel at a loss in this way trying to balance my own mental wellbeing and my duties to the broader public. I’ve already chosen not to go to the optometrist nor the dentist, people whom I desperately need to see after living outside of the country for 2.5 years. It’s just too risky for everyone. It turns out, though, that I managed to take advantage of one of the final opportunities to go to the cinema. The state will be shutting down non-essential services next week.

So yes, as I’ve already mentioned, for those of you who don’t know, I’m back in the country for the moment. I returned to my family in Melbourne earlier in the year, where I did a few shifts as a fill-in GP, and then went to Canberra for 3 weeks of training for this new role that I have started here in Sydney. Of course I have a lot of reflections about returning, both to Australia, and to these individual cities. I just haven’t had time to write about them, partly because stubbornly, my mind had still been in Senegal. Depending on how this epidemic pans out, you might hear about them sooner or later, most probably later.

Another reason I haven’t written about Sydney until now is more practical: I just didn’t have the right graphics to go with my post. I haven’t posted a completely graphic-less post yet. I don’t trust my writing skills enough. I need to distract the readers with something else. Luckily, another thing that I did on my day off was to visit one of my favourite local spots that I had known from the last time I lived in Sydney: Berkelouw Books, an independent bookstore in Hornsby, which has its own bookshop cafe. I was one of the very, very few people who dared to have a sit-down coffee. I took possibly one of my final photos of this indulgence for a while, now that our State Premier has clarified that cafes and restaurants will be limited to takeaways. Leaving the cinema, there was an eerie feeling as many of the surrounding retail businesses locked up at the end of the day, not knowing when they would reopen. Almost on cue, the wind started to pick up and the weather started to change at the end of this unusually warm late March day. The season is changing. It’s time to bunker down. Literally, for me.

I guess this post isn’t going to be one of my usual, excessively verbose missives, because I do need to think about going back to the bunker tomorrow. I’m actually pretty excited about it, despite the demands and the long hours. It’s rewarding work. I’m very appreciative of the general public in terms of their acknowledgement of our work, for once. Usually public health is something that’s taken for granted. But on top of that, I am grateful that I am fortunate enough to be one of the people who are able to make a direct impact on the outcome of this epidemic. That’s a real privilege.